A man got really drunk one night in his local pub. The barman refused to serve him any more alcohol and told him he should be heading home. The man thought this was a good idea so he stood up to leave but fell over straight away. He tried to stand up again but only fell over again. He thought if only he could get outside and get some fresh air he'd be grand. So he crawled outside then tried to stand up and fell over again. In the end after falling over lots more he decided to crawl home.

Q. Why did the golfer bring an extra pear of pants when he went golfing?

A. In case he got a "hole in one".

Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes, so that when you criticize them you will be a mile away and you'll have their shoes.

A cow and a horse got into an accident while they were coming around a blind corner. Who is to be blamed?

The cow... because she didn't blow her horn!

Use your eyes as if tomorrow you would be struck blind: Hear the music of voices, the song of a bird, as if you would be struck deaf. Touch each object as if tomorrow your sense of touch would fail-smell perfume of flowers, taste with relish each morsel as if tomorrow you could never smell or taste again.

Two gold fish are in a tank one says to the other "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

Guru Purab literally means 'festival of the guru'. The Sikhs celebrate 10 Guru Purabs in a year. At each of these festivals, one of the ten gurus of the Khalsa Pantha is honoured.

All Guru Purabs are considered auspicious and important but special significance is accorded to the birth anniversary of Guru Nanak, in the month of Kartik (November-December). The Sikhs believe that Guru Nanak brought enlightenment to the world. As such this festival is also known as - the festival of light.

Guru Purab literally means 'festival of the guru'. The Sikhs celebrate 10 Guru Purabs in a year. At each of these festivals, one of the ten gurus of the Khalsa Pantha is honoured.

All Guru Purabs are considered auspicious and important but special significance is accorded to the birth anniversary of Guru Nanak, in the month of Kartik (November-December). The Sikhs believe that Guru Nanak brought enlightenment to the world. As such this festival is also known as - the festival of light.

Things to keep in mind every time you travel; always accept that nothing can change circumstances as they are happening to you, you can’t never change people with whom you interact at that moment of interaction period. When an occurrence like a delay a lost luggage is not of your liking, it is nonetheless taking place. You will be wasting energy by resisting; the only result of doing this is stress. Instead of avoiding what you don’t like surrender and face what you feel, accept as part of life the need to process your negative emotions, think!

True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period.

How do I go about getting that fixed?"

Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped. It's because I am.

Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"