Jyotika's blog

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JOKES...U wil Njoy it

Banta k ghar ladka hua, par wo phir bhi dukhi tha?? Kyon?
Itne saalo baad, itni manato k baad ladka hua wo bhi chhota sa...!

Inspector to Banta: Faansi se pehle, bata teri antim ichha kya hai?
Banta: Mere pair upar aur sir neeche kar k faansi de do..!

Santa: Wo dekh teri biwi ko saanp kaat raha hai.
Banta: Are tension mat le, Jeher bharwane aya hoga...

Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya, gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.
Banta:-Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo

Banta to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining..
Banta: So what, take an umbrella and go.

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Nice Jokes

Prince Charles & Gajhodharji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Gajhodhar thinks "how poetic"
Gajhodhar says, "pass the custard you bastard".
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Gajhodhar at bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Gajhodhar says - "Baljith Singh Married"
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Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Gajhodhar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but??

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FRIENDSHIP MEAN BEAUTY OF A HUMAN

FRIENDSHIP MEAN LIKE GOLDS

FRIENDSHIP MEAN FRESH FLOWER

FRIENDSHIP MEAN FEELING

FRIENDSHIP MEAN HAPPINESS

FRIENDSHIP MEAN PLEASED

FRIENDSHIP MEAN SHARING

FRIENDSHIP MEAN THINKING

FRIENDSHIP MEAN SUGGESTION

FRIENDSHIP MEAN CONNECTION

FRIENDSHIP MEAN WASTING TIME

FRIENDSHIP MEAN KILLER OF LIFE

FRIENDSHIP MEAN TEASING

FRIENDSHIP MEAN JOKING

FRIENDSHIP MEAN GOOD RELATIONSHIP

FRIENDSHIP MEAN GOOD PARTNER

FRIENDSHIP MEAN CALLING IN A SAVIOR CONDITION

FRIENDSHIP MEAN LEAVING IN A SAVIOR CONDITION

FRIENDSHIP MEAN LIVING IN A GOOD CONDITION

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Stock Mkt!

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10.

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at Rs10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at Rs20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

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Love

Love is not 2 forget but 2 forgive, not 2 c but 2 understand, not 2 hear but 2 listen, not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON !!!!
Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.
Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.

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Some Tips.... Beneficial things in daily life..

Ants Problem:
Keep the skin of cucumbers near the place or ant hole.

To get pure and clean ice:
Boil water first before freezing.

To make the mirror shine:
Clean with spirit

To remove chewing gum from clothes:
Keep the cloth in the freezer for an hour.

To whiten white clothes
Soak white clothes in hot water with a slice of lemon for 10 minutes 10.

To give a shine to hair:
Add one teaspoon of vinegar to hair, then wash hair.

To get maximum juice out of lemons:
Soak lemons in hot water for one hour, and then juice them.

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Height of Optimism...

Soldier: "Sir, we are surrounded by the enemies",
Major: "Excellent ! We can now attack in any direction" !.

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What is the height of mixed emotions???
when ur mother in law falls from 7th floor on ur mercedes!!!!

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Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.

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bhikari : sahab ek rupiya de do.

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Gabber: Kitne Aadmi they.

Gabber: Kitne Aadmi they.
Sambha : Sardar Do,
Gabber: Mujhe ginti nahi aati. Do kitne hotey hain?
Sambha: Sardar Do Ek ke baad aata hai.
Gabber: Aur Do ke pehle?
Sambha: Do ke pehle Ek aata hai.
Gabber: To beech mein kaun aata hai?
Sambha : Beech mein koi nahi aata.
Gabber: To fir Dono ek saath kyon nahi atey?
Sambha: Do Ek ke baad hi aa sakta hai, kyonki Do ek se bada hai.
Gabber: Do ek se bada hai? Kitna bada hai?
Sambha Do ek se Ek bada hai?
Gabber: Agar Do ek se ek bada hai to ek ek se kitna bada hai?
Sambha : Sardar, Maine tumhara namak khaya hai, mujhe goli mar do

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How to make a woman happy

To make a woman happy ..... A man only needs to be:

1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious

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Life A is ADVENTURE dare it.

Life A is ADVENTURE dare it.
Life B is BEAUTY worship it.
Life C is CHALLENGE meet it.
Life D is DREAM realize it.
Life E is ENDURANCE copewith it.
Life F is FRAGRANCE smell it.
Life G is GAME play it.
Life H is HEAVEN take it.
Life I is INITIATIVE take it.
Life J is JOURNEY complete it.
Life K is KEROSINE burn it....................
Life L is LOVE enjoy it.
Life M is MYSTERY unfold it.
Life N is NAME find it.
Life O is OPPORTUNITY catch it.
Life P is PROMISE fulfil it.
Life Q is QUSETION answer it.
Life R is REALITY face it.
Life S is SONG sing it.